Thursday, March 29, 2007

Automakers and Bush Pay Lip Service to Higher Fuel Efficiency
The Big 2.5 use Bigger Engines to Spur Sales.

Yesterday, representatives from GM, Ford and DaimlerChrysler met with President Bush to announce plans that they were working together to raise fuel efficiency by 20% in the next 10 years. What the Big 2.5 are saying and what they are doing are different things entirely. Chrysler's big promotion is a free Hemi engine upgrade in several of its vehicles. Next, Ford is replacing the 3.0 liter engine in the Ford Five Hundred with a 3.5 liter (60 horsepower stronger) engine in the Five Hundred's renamed doppelganger, the new Taurus. Finally, GM announced "super" versions of its Lacrosse and Lucerne models, both with uprated engines. Not only that, but GM is also showing off a new Cadillac concept car with a 12 cylinder, 600 horsepower engine.

In separate news, China is expected to increase its gasoline consumption by 25% by 2010, less than three years from now. Already, prices are going up due to worldwide demand. Despite this, George W. Bush and his brain trust have decided to rest its energy policy on empty promises by carmakers and a bogus flex fuel program that credits cars for using E-8t even though they rarely do. Bush does not have a plan at all to attack global warming. His own Department of Energy estimates that world energy consumption will increase 71% from 2003 to 2030. The majority of that increase will come from developing countries. To call Bush's energy goals Bandaids would be an insult to Bandaids.

It seems like a no-brainer to impose an gasoline tax increase both to discourage overconsumption and to pay for the oil war in Iraq. In the past, representatives from the auto companies have come out in favor of an increased gas tax as an alternative to higher CAFE mandates. It doesn't appear that a higher gas tax is on the table right now.
Sony in - Delphi out as Ford's Stereo ProviderFord to get head units from Sony

Ford announced that, starting next year, it will be phasing in Sony as it's exclusive supplier of car audio systems. Ford's long-time supplier was Visteon; however after Visteon was split off as an independent company, Ford phased in Delphi, previously a GM subsidiary. Delphi is now in Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Perhaps Delphi was too expensive, or its supply was too shaky, or Sony made Ford an offer it couldn't refuse. Whatever the cause, that's a big chunk of business for Delphi to lose.
Credit Card Expert on NPR's Fresh Air

Elizabeth Warren, a Harvard Law professor was the guest yesterday on NPR's Fresh Air Program. The streaming version is linked here. Some of the highlights: She stated that for a young couple who charges $5000 in expenses for a new baby (crib, high chair etc) and only pays the minimum payment, that baby will have grown up and had a child of his/her own by the time that $5000 is paid. On average, the amortization period is 34 years at the minumum payment amount. She said that credit card solicitations are up 30% since the new bankruptcy law was passed, and most of these new solicitations are aimed at people with blemished credit. Professor Warren also suggested that credit card companies are intentionally charging bogus fees. Her proof of this is indirect. She states that the errors have a single-tailed distribution. In other words, it's evidence of the intentional imposition of erroneous charges that the errors tend to unwarranted charges compared to errroneously ommitted charges.

Professor Warrern talked about practices in handling payments that are at least sharp dealing. She points out that for customers on the East Coast, credit card companies direct their payments to a small town in the west, therefore increasing the mailing time, and maximizing the amount of late fees. There are stories of companies intentionally delaying posting of payments and actually shredding incoming payments.

Like James Spurlock's film Maxed Out (which is currently going into wider distribution), Professor Warren highlights the extreme lobbying by the financial industry. Also both sources discuss the "race to the bottom" amoung states lowering their regulations to make themselves more attractive to credit card companies.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Newsflash: Sanjaya Malakar to Run Ford Mo Co.

Ford Motor Chairman Bill Ford announced today that idol-wannabe Sanjaya Malakar has been chosen to be Ford's next Chief Operating Officer. Said Mr. Ford, "Let's face it, it's become obvious that there's nobody better at putting off the inevitable than Sanjaya." http://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Monday, March 26, 2007

From the Blurry (but free) File
WWW.live-online-tv.com


We haven't had cable at my house for 8 years now. Most of the time, I don't miss it, but occasionally, there's something that's only on cable that I'd like to see. I was surprised and delighted to stumble across live-online-tv.com. This website streams an international assortment of cable channels. (Don't tell the Disney company, but it includes ESPN.) Now, what can I do with that extra $60.00 per month?

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Youtube Video of the Day:
Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager

Episode 1 of the Chad Vader story, the story that answers the question: just how useful is the Force in a supermarket?

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Happy Birthay Karl Malden

Actor Karl Malden turns 95 today. He still looks great, and he still doesn't leave home without his American Express card. His pants, maybe, but not his American Express card. (Bad Blogger, go to your room!) Some Karl Malden trivia: He's of Czech and Serbian ancestry. He was born in Chicago, Illinois, with the birthname Mladen George Sekulovich. He has been married to his wife, Mona, since 1938, making his marriage one of the longest-lasting marriages in Hollywood history. Source: Wikipedia (of course)

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Bush To Tour Kansas City Area Auto Plants
Hybrid Fords & Saturns are the highlights


Sometime today, President Bush is scheduled to tour the GM Fairfax assembly plant in Kansas City, Kansas, and the Ford Claycomo facility in Kansas City, Missouri. The GM plant builds the Saturn Aura Hybrid (which makes its debut very shortly), and the Ford plant makes the Ford Escape Hybrid.

Bush is likely to give a speech about how new made in America hybrids are competing in a crowded marketplace and saving millions of gallons of gasoline. Because he'll be in the farm belt, he'll likely pontificate on ethanol.

This is, however, the same president who rejected a proposal to spend $500 million on advanced battery technology for hybrids. Coincidentally, $500 million is 1/10 of 1 percent of the amount that we have spent fighting a war for oil in Iraq. Bush is also the president that rejected assistance to the automakers for healthcare expenses, even though the automakers are keeping thousands of Americans off of the government healthcare tab. He's the president who's for a strong national defense, but he works the National Guard and its equipment to a nub in Iraq, shortchanges veteran healthcare, and still finds time to watch as the factories that make up the arsenal of democracy close one by one. He pays lip service to the problem of global warming while his policy people still spew nonsense about the climate studies being inconclusive.

What the President Should Be Doing

What he should do is work out a plan that pays American companies for maintaining their facilities as contingent defense plants. There should be programs to enhance the ability of our industrial base to respond to military production needs on short notice, so our troops don't need to wait two years to get armor for their Humvees. Sixty years ago, we had the capability to transform our industrial base from civilian to military needs in less than a year. We may have gone to war in 1941 with the Army we had, but Mr. Rumsfeld, by 1943, we had an entirely new army, air force and navy. That's one reason why World War II was shorter than the war in Iraq.

Bush should strong-arm Toyota into leasing a vacant auto plant as a second source for Priuses (Priuii?), to be sold to the United States government for general government use administered by the GSA.

Bush should have a program for converting idle manufacturing facilities into sources for energy efficiency products to be used on government buildings. You could put a plant to work making solar panels on a large scale, for example.

There are many other constructive solutions that Bush could advocate without spending lots of money. Idle electricians and pipe-fitters with skills could be put to work renovating the schools where children are constantly being left behind in part due to have and have-not school systems. Bush could ask for tax-relief relating to the one-time buy-out payments that are now taxed as single-year income. Lots of auto workers are rotting in the job bank, when they could be doing good deeds at home or abroad through the Peace Corps.

Politicians everywhere wring their hands over sprawl and vacant factories. Still, there is precious little incentive for the transplant automakers to take over an unused factory rather than plowing up farmland to start a new one. That needs to change.

In short, there are plenty of options for a president to show leadership in the changing global industrial environment without abandoning free-market principles. It takes courage to confront the real problems that we face rather than creating new problems half a world away.
The Googleteer takes on J.K. Harris

Speaking again of unconventional superheros, Hof's Blog's own semi-resident-superhero, the Googleteer, has been looking into J.K. Harris. Here are a couple of the Googleteer's searches

J.K.-Harris (and) "did nothing"
= 49 hits (3/20/07)

JK-Harris (and) scam
= 290 hits (3/20/07)

There are a lot of complaints about J.K. Harris at the ripoffreport.com and consumeraffairs.com.

Indianapolis television investigative reporter Rafael Sanchez from WTHR-TV posted this video clip concerning a J.K. Harris complaint.

In 2005, Jay Nixon, Missouri's attorney general, settled a deceptive practices complaint with JK Harris providing reimbursement for nine consumers over $18,000 as well as $25,000 in investigative costs. The press release says that JK Harris promised to settle tax debts for "pennies on the dollar". According to the press release accompanying the settlement:

In a consent judgment filed in Jackson County Circuit Court, J.K. Harris Holding of North Charleston, S.C., will cease deceptive sales practices and will refund the fees paid for services to negotiate lower tax liabilities. Individuals paid from $390 to $2,700 for services that either were not delivered or were not delivered as promised.


"This company told Missouri consumers that it could reduce their tax debt to practically nothing, but for several consumers, that was not the case," Nixon said. "Companies need to know that deceptive sales pitches are against the law in Missouri, and we will zealously protect the rights of the consumer in these matters."


In a lawsuit filed in January, Nixon alleged that J.K. Harris conducted business in Missouri without being registered with the Secretary of State, and made misleading claims that the company could settle tax debt for "pennies on the dollar." The company also made claims that tax professionals and former IRS agents were available to consult with clients. In reality, consumers only talked to sales representatives.


In addition to the monetary restitution and payment to the state, J.K. Harris must provide a full listing of all complaints it has received from consumers located in Missouri. Under the consent judgment, for the next 90 days J.K. Harris will remain liable for any new verifiable complaints it might receive related to allegations in the lawsuit.


Jay Nixon is one of the best, if not the best state attorney general when it comes to staying on top of predatory businesses. It seems like whenever I investigate a suspected serial bad actor, Mr. Nixon has gotten there first and already has an enforcement action pending.

Monday, March 19, 2007

AFSCME Commercial on Youtube

People might ask you what AFSCME is really all about. This commercial on Youtube.com tells it all. (Language alert)
Can you have Too Many Homeowners?

The linked article from the New York Times (free registration required) looks at the philosophical arguments for limiting incentives for homeownership. Government homeowner subsidies through the tax code run about $100 billion per year, a little less than what we are spending on the Iraq war. I wonder how many of those who favor the Iraq war would still favor it if they had to give up their entire mortgage deduction and state tax deduction to pay for it?

The NYT should have also mentioned that by encouraging homeownership, the government is also encouraging urban sprawl and commuting, very energy-consumptive behaviors. Without the tax break, people would generally delay buying homes until they are in a stable long-term job, and would likely tend to live closer to where they work.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

The Googleteer takes on J.K. Harris

Speaking again of unconventional superheros, Hof's Blog's own semi-resident-superhero, the Googleteer, has been looking into J.K. Harris. Here are a couple of the Googleteer's searches

J.K.-Harris (and) "did nothing"

= 169 hits (3/17/07)

J.K.-Harriis (and) "numerous complaints"
23 Hits (3/17/07)

The Ripoffreport.com has lots of complaints about JK Harris. Ditto Consumeraffairs.com. The BBB gives Harris an unsatisfactory rating.
Pale Force at NBC.com

Speaking of unconventional superheros, Jim Gaffigan's Pale Force videos are online at NBC.com. Jim Gaffigan stars as Paleman, a hero so pale that his whiteness is blinding. Conan O'Brien is his sidekick Weenieboy, who typically wets himself at the first sign of danger.
The (not quite) Inside Dope on the Captain Underpants Movie

I have been waiting for baited breath for word on whether they really truly will make a movie out of the Captain Underpants childrens' book series. It's important that they make one before I age out of the role. (I still have nightmares about Nicolas Cage as Superman.) Wikipedia says yes, that Warner Brothers will make a C.U. movie with a release date in 2008. On the other hand, I found no mention of the Captain Underpants movie in the Cinematical blog or imdb.com. Also, Captain Underpants author Dav Pilkey has stated on the record before that it ain't gonna happen. Since their people haven't contacted my people, I can only assume that the rumor of the 2008 movie is unfounded.

For more information on Captain Underpants, check out www.pilkey.com and play the games and watch the music videos with your kids.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Operation Spamalot

The SEC has finally taken some action regarding stock spammers, suspending trading in 35 stocks that have been spammed. Since the spammers hide their identities, there's not much you can do about them. Finally they are taking action against the companies who are paying to have their stock spammed. Actually, the SEC must not have direct information of payments, otherwise more severe action would have been taken. A third party could "pump and dump" the stocks without a direct company affiliation, but you never know what's going on until you investigate it. I became acquainted with the penny stock markets about 18 years ago. I can tell you that most of these stocks have very few shareholders, so if you follow the shares, you will eventually get to the culprits. For more information, see this article at the great Spamnation blog.
Supreme Court to take up "Bong Hits for Jesus"

This coming Monday, the United States Supreme Court will hear arguments in a First Amendment case brought by Joseph Frederick. Future law students will forever remember Frederick's case as the "Bong Hits for Jesus" case.

Frederick was a high school student in Juneau, Alaska in 2002 when he decided to unfurl a 14 foot banner saying "Bong Hits for Jesus" while on a school outing. He was suspended for 5 days, and his suspension was doubled to 10 days, when he quoted Thomas Jefferson in objecting to the suspension.

Here's my question. What kind of idiot principal suspends a student for quoting Thomas Jefferson?

Thursday, March 15, 2007

AOL is up to its old Tricks
Back to the Cancellation Tango

America Online is like a roach motel, you can get in, but you can't get out. At least, AOL does its darnedest to keep you from cancelling. No trick, scheme or artiface is too low for AOL. Basically, when you want to cancel, AOL does everything not to acknowledge you short of sticking its corporate fingers in its corporate ears and saying "LA LA LA LA" like the Vancome lady on Mad-Tv.

One of my coworkers just finished (she hopes) dancing with AOL. Her cancellation experience was much like that experienced by Dave Taylor. Dave Taylor put his experiences on a web page along with advice to would-be-ex-Aolers.

Note, this is not a new phenomenon. It wasn't new in 2003 when the FTC entered into a consent decree with AOL. In the consent decree, AOL promised to make it easier to cancel. More importantly, if AOL purports to "save" the cancellation and continue the account in effect, AOL must record tangible evidence of the save and send a written notice to the consumer informing the consumer that the service is continuing.

Thanks to M.D. for the tip.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Spot Delivery -
From A Car Dealer Lawyer's Perspective

Gil Van Over, apparently a lawyer for car dealers, has posted a column on the dealer-magazine.com website on the problems with spot delivery car sales. For those who aren't familiar with spot delivery sales, we in the consumer law field refer to these sales as gimme-back, yo-yo, or puppy-dog sales. In these sales the car dealer sells the car to a customer, then several days later, calls the customer saying that there is a problem with the paperwork and the customer has to bring the car back and restructure the deal. In almost every case, the new deal is worse for the customer.

As Mr. Van Over points out, spot delivery sales could, in a given case, be illegal for violations of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act, the state Unfair and Deceptive Acts statute, Truth in Lending, and Article 9, U.C.C. (regarding repossessions). A full treatment of the subject is contained in the National Consumer Law Center's Unfair and Deceptive Acts and Practices manual. If you are a consumer victimized by a spot delivery sale, contact an experienced consumer attorney through the National Associations of Consumer Advocates website, www.naca.net.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Alex Vraciu for Congressional Medal of Honor

This weekend I was working with my son to find a famous Hoosier to be the subject of a class paper. Trying to think of somebody notable but unusual, I stumbled upon the fact that World War II ace Alex Vraciu was a native Hoosier. For those of you who aren't World War II history buffs, Alex Vraciu flew F6F Hellcats for the Navy during the last two years of WWII. He finished the war with credit for 19 enemy planes (4th highest among navy fliers), including six on one mission, plus a ship sunk.

Alex Vraciu is alive and well, enjoying retirement in California. I'm posting a link to a site for a campaign to give Mr. Vraciu the Congressional Medal of Honor that he has deserved all along.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

From the Geneva Auto Show - Toyota Hybrid X Showcar
Plus info on the 2008 Toyota Prius

The Hybrid X is Toyota's concept of where hybrid cars could be going in the year 2000, er, whatever. Actually, the next-generation Prius is rumored to look a lot like the current one, with some spyshots linked here. The 2008 Prius is expected to replace it's 1.5 liter engine with a 1.8 liter motivator. Smarter programming, better batteries, and maybe even a solar panel on the roof are said to raise the Prius's gas mileage to the 80 mpg mark.
Does Best Buy Use a Secret Website to Mislead its Customers?

George Gombossy, the Consumer Watchdog of the Hartford Courant newspaper, posted a column disclosing the existence of a secret intranet (that’s right, intra-net, as in internal) website that is identical to the company’s internet website, identical that is except for prices. George was alerted by a reader who said that the price for a price for a computer that he saw on the regular internet website was not the same as the store price. When the customer brought it to the sales clerk’s attention, the sales clerk, showed the customer a website reflecting a higher prices. Only later did the customer discover that there were actually TWO websites, one for the public, and one just for staff. After George failed to get a straight answer from Best Buy officials regarding the purpose of the website, he brought it to the attention of state regulators. They apparently haven't been completely satisfied with Best Buy's explanation of the purpose of the site, but Best Buy did confirm that the secret site exists. Read the details in the linked articles.

I can remember going to Best Buy several years ago with a web print-out in hand only to have the sales clerk tell me (and show me) that the actual sales price was now higher. Now it all kind of makes sense.
State False Claims Acts

Most attorneys know at least a little bit about the federal False Claims Act, a law that allows a whistle blower to seek a recovery on behalf of the government, and sometimes make a little profit to boot. Did you know that there is a growing trend for states to adopt their own false claims acts. The False Claims Legal Center, www.taf.org, collects information about these state laws.
What's more Dangerous than a Taser?
Complaining about the Taser Company

A website called Crunchgear.com posted this article about how Taser International, Inc. has a nasty habit of suing anybody who dares to criticize, or even attempt a scientific study of, its Taser immobilization devices.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Is Cerberus trying to Roll up Chrysler and GM?

The Detroit News reports that representatives from Cerberus Capital Management have met with high level executives of Daimler Chrysler, and are undertaking a complete review of the Chrysler division's books in preparation of making a concrete buy-out proposal. (DCX executives are also meeting with representatives of the Blackstone Group, another buyout firm.) Last year Cerberus completed the purchase of a 51% share of GMAC, and Cerberus is a leading contender to take over what is left of Delphi after bankruptcy. It looks to me that Cerberus's overall strategy could be one of opportunistic scavenging, or it could be a grand plan to take over the remains of the great American auto industry. I suspect the grand strategy will not become truly apparent until Chrysler and General Motors complete their UAW negotiations later this year. At least as far as GM is concerned, bankruptcy considerations will weigh heavily in Cerberus's business decision.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Subprime Mortgage Crash Could Cost GM Amost $1 Billion

Last fall, GM sold off 51% of GMAC to Cerebus Capital, a private equity firm. Good thing, too, because since then, the sub-prime mortgage market has gone Kablooey. The largest portion of GMAC's assets rest in the hands of its Rescap mortgage banking subsidiary. It was recently disclosed that 77% of Rescap's loans are subprime, or high-risk. A significant portion of the remainder are either "nonconforming" first mortgage loans or riskier second mortgage loans. All told, some analysts expect that when GM finally posts its 2006 annual statement (by March 15), the statement will include a new reserve for bad mortgage loans in the amount of $900 million or $950 million. IF GM would have retained all of GMAC, the loss would have been double that.

Friday, March 02, 2007

A Batch of Bad Gas Plagues Britain - For the Second Time
So what does this have to do with the P-38 and Green Acres?

Engines are stopping all over southern England, as a batch of bad gasoline is causing havoc with hundreds of car engines. The mysterious thing is that not all cars are affected, mostly those 2-5 years old, and the contaminant has not been identified.

I thought I'd pitch in one of my obscure historical antecedents. During World War II, the American bombing campaign by the 8th Air Force operating out of England suffered for lack of long range bomber escorts. In theory, the P-38 Lightning would have been ideal for the role, because it had inherent long-range and excellent high altitude performance. At least it did in the United States.

When the Lightning made it to England, the planes seemed to suffer from an unusual number of engine failures. Some attributed the problem to the extreme cold temperatures at high altitude over Europe, but the P-38 operated in the Alaska and Iceland with no problems. Even to this day, the problem is debated among plane wonks, but most sources indicate that the problem was that the tetra ethyl lead compounds used to boost the octane in the gasoline used in England were incompatible with the P-38's turbocharger system. The lead separated from the gas; and the gas lost its anti-knock properties. Uncontrolled detonation in the engines resulted in engine failure. The turbocharged P-47s and the supercharged P-51s used the same gas with no problems. By the time the problems were really isolated, General Doolittle, the commander of the 8th Air Force, had pretty much given up on the P-38. Almost all the Lightning units in the 8th converted to the P-51 Mustang.

So what does this have to do with cars, popular culture, or the law, the main topics of this blog? First, the Allison engines of the P-38 were produced by General Motors. That's the car part. Now here's the popular culture part: Eddie Albert's character in the television show Green Acres, was a P-38 pilot in World War II. The name of his character, Oliver Wendall Douglas, a lawyer, was a salute to two Supreme Court Justices, Oliver Wendall Holmes and William O.. Douglas. That's the law part.

(Okay, for the real Green Acres and plane wonks, Mr. Douglas was a photo-recon pilot, so his Lightning was probably technically an F-4 or F-5. In one episode, he flies a Mustang, which would have been an F-6.)

Eddie Albert, by the way, was a supremely cool dude. He was a WWII vet. He won a Bronze Star on Tarawa. He was a proto-environmentalist, serving as spokesman for the National Arbor Day Foundation. He lived to be 99 years old, dying in 2005.
Australian Philosopher to Head Indiana University

The Board of Trustees of Indiana University picked Michael McRobbie, an
Australian Philosopher, to be its new President. As I understand it, he's also in charge of the sheep dip.

What I don't understand is why he's not called Bruce. That's going to cause a bit of confusion.

Anyway, as an I.U. alum, I'd like to welcome Bruce, I mean, Michael, to God's own Earth, and remind him that we don't like stuck-up sticky-beaks here.

Anyway, let's all sing the song, and this time, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking. The lyrics are there, so no excuses.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

GM Reports February Sales Increase
Ford & DCX - Nope

Riding the back of increased pick-up truck sales, GM reported a 3.4% unit sales increase for February (year over year). Ford's sales were down 13.5%, part of "The Way Forward" perhaps. Do you think it's time that Ford had somebody other than bravely bold Sir Robin lead the sales charge? Chrysler's sales were down 7.7%. Toyota logged a sales increase of 12.2%, and Honda sales went up 3.2%.
March Goes In Like a Lion

Here's the 1976 John Belushi Weatherman Skit on March going in like a lion. I don't usually post republish significant portions of other people's artistic work, but I can't find this on any authorized site, and it's too good to be lost to antiquity. I got it from this site.

Chevy Chase: Last week we made the comment that March comes in like a lion
and goes out like a lamb. Now here to reply is our chief meteorologist, John
Belushi, with a seasonal report.
John Belushi: Thank you Chevy. Well, another
winter is almost over and March true to form has come in like a lion, and
hopefully will go out like a lamb. At least that’s how March works here in the
United States.
But did you know that March behaves differently in other
countries? In Norway, for example, March comes in like a polar bear and goes out
like a walrus. Or, take the case of Honduras where March comes in like a lamb
and goes out like a salt marsh harvest mouse.
Let’s compare this to the
Maldive Islands where March comes in like a wildebeest and goes out like an ant.
A tiny, little ant about this big.
[holds thumb and index fingers a small
distance apart]
Unlike the Malay Peninsula where March comes in like a
worm-eating fernbird and goes out like a worm-eating fernbird. In fact, their
whole year is like a worm-eating fernbird.
Or consider the Republic of South
Africa where March comes in like a lion and goes out like a different lion. Like
one has a mane, and one doesn’t have a mane. Or in certain parts of South
America where March swims in like a sea otter, and then it slithers out like a
giant anaconda.
There you can buy land real cheap, you know. And there’s a
country where March hops in like a kangaroo, and stays a kangaroo for a while,
and then it becomes a slightly smaller kangaroo. Then, then, then for a couple
of days it’s sort of a cross between a, a frilled lizard and a common house
cat.
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]
Wait wait wait wait. Then it
changes back into a smaller kangaroo, and then it goes out like a, like a wild
dingo. Now, now, and it’s not Australia! Now, now, you’d think it would be
Australia, but it’s not!
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]
Now look,
pal! I know a country where March comes in like an emu and goes out like a
tapir. And they don’t even know what it means! All right? Now listen, there are
nine different countries, where March comes in like a frog, and goes out like a
golden retriever. But that- that’s not the weird part! No, no, the weird part
is, is the frog. The frog- The weird part is-
[has seizure and falls off
chair]